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  • Writer's pictureNadia Sword

Making Sense of Loss...

It's hard to believe that it is coming up to four years since I lost Benjamin, the love of my life. In that time, I've learned a lot about grief and the way people react to it. Most of the time, people shy away from the topic, thinking it's too uncomfortable to talk about. But for me, it's a subject that's always present in my life. Today, I want to share my journey through grief with you, from the highs to the lows and everything in between.

Losing someone you love is never easy, but losing your partner is a unique kind of pain. Benjamin was my rock, my confidant, and my soulmate. When he passed away, it was like a part of me died too. For months, I felt like I was floating through life, unable to focus on anything but my loss. But eventually, I found myself again.

I've learned that everyone grieves differently, and there's no right or wrong way to do it. Some people need to talk about their loved one constantly, while others prefer to keep their memories private. Some find solace in religion, while others turn to therapy or meditation. The key is to find what works for you and to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions come up.

One thing that's helped me immensely is my friends, family and our five children, who have been my rock throughout this whole process. They've grown up so much in the past four years, and watching them become independent adults, teenagers and tweens has been bittersweet. On the one hand, I'm proud of who they are becoming. On the other hand, I wish Benjamin were here to witness it all. But I know he's looking down on us, and that thought brings me comfort.

The truth is, life after loss is never the same, but it can still be extraordinary. We are learning how to embrace life without Benjamin, and we have found ways to honour his memory. There are moments when everything feels normal, and then a memory or a song brings the tears flooding back. The key to moving forward is to allow yourself to feel the grief and not suppress it.

As a family, we have talked about how we want to remember Benjamin's life. We celebrate his birthday every year by spending that day with his family, sharing stories and going to his favourite restaurant. His picture hangs in a special spot in our home, where we can see it every day. We tell stories about him, and we laugh through the tears, knowing that he would want us to be happy.

Another thing that's helped us as a family is travel. Benjamin, the kids and I loved to explore new places together, and I've found that continuing that tradition has been healing for us. Whether it's a weekend getaway or a month-long trip, being immersed in new cultures and environments helps us to see life from a different perspective.

At the end of the day, grief is a personal journey, and it's different for everyone. But I hope that by sharing my story, I can help others who are going through a similar experience. Losing Benjamin was the hardest thing I've ever faced, but it's also taught me so much about resilience, love, and the power of community. If you're struggling with grief, know that you're not alone. There are people out there who understand what you're going through, and who are here to support you through it all. I know that Benjamin is still with me in spirit, and that thought brings me comfort every day.

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